The Way We Say Goodbye
by infinity-witch
Summary: Tears began to sting her eyes. How could she tell him she didn't want him to die? That yes, at one point she did wish it upon him but now she couldn't handle the thought of never seeing him again. Not after everything that has happened.


They all exited the room. Decisions had been made and sacrifices implied. By dawn, their lives would never be the same. People Sansa had considered friends and or family would meet their fate by morning come and it weighed heavy on her hardened heart. However, none of it as heavy as Theon volunteering to risk his life to protect Bran. She knew why he volunteered. To right his wrongs, to redeem himself in her family's eyes.

But he was already redeemed. Theon had righted all wrongs in her eyes when he took her hand in his and they jumped off the castle wall into the snow. Theon kept her going when she didn't think she could make it. Even as he stumbled along the way in the frigid cold, he made sure she wasn't too far behind. When he embraced her, it was the warmest embrace she had ever felt. It was the first time in such a very long time that she truly felt safe. All hatred she had towards him had gone.

Sansa wanted to protest his decision to stay with Bran in the Godswood. When he said the words she felt her stomach drop, her chest and throat felt like they were constricting on her. He had just found his way back to her and now he was essentially sacrificing himself. It felt worse than him saying goodbye to her in the woods. She wanted him to come with them so badly that it still hurt to think about. She wasn't ready to lose another person she cares about. She would never be ready. Theon had turned to her for permission to come back and fight alongside them instead of Daenerys...she finally saw Theon back to Theon. No more trace of Reek. She couldn't help but run and embrace him like he had embraced her back in the woods.

Everyone was walking down the steps to make the best of the calm before the storm when she spotted Theon just ahead of her.

"Theon, wait." She heard her voice, she was acting without thinking.

"Yes, my lady?" He turned to her with his blue and green eyes and she felt her heart skip a beat. There was something different about him and the way he looked at her. There was something different about them.

"I um...I was wondering if you'd like to grab something to eat." She struggled. "I know you really didn't get a chance to eat anything since you arrived."

A small smile graced his face as he nodded. "Yeah, that would be nice."

Sansa descended the final steps and stood beside him as they began to their walk outside where soup and bread was being served. They walked closely, occasionally brushing arms as they walked and Sansa found herself fighting the urge to grab hold of his hand as they walked through the dimly lit halls and out into the cold northern night.

All around the people that were occupying Winterfell sat with friends, joking and some singing. It was an eerie feeling knowing this was the last night some would see their loved ones. Theon and Sansa walked up to where they were serving up bowls of soup and bread.

"My lady." The man smiled at her as he poured the soup into her bowl. When Theon came next he gave him a curt smile.

Looking around for somewhere to sit, they found a couple of makeshift stools to sit on while they ate. At first they were silent and Sansa could feel the tension between them. Neither one of them sure how to start the conversation. Theon looked nervous and eventually decided he would start.

"I'm glad you got to the wall safe." He looked down at his bowl taking in a few spoonfuls of the soup.

"Brienne was very determined, I was really grateful to have her accompany me."

"I'm sorry I didn't go with you. I had to go back to the Iron Islands for my sister." He apologized, trying to avoid her gaze.

"There is no need to apologize Theon." She assured him. "You already helped me by getting me away from Ramsay."

Even speaking his name made Sansa feel sick to her stomach. Theon looked up to meet her eyes, taking a few heavy breaths he nodded.

"The whole time I was held captive, I never thought about escaping or becoming Theon again." She could see the emotional trauma still caused by the memories of Ramsay as he spoke. "Seeing him hurt you though…"

Sansa reached a hand and placed it on his knee.

"It awoke something in me. I wanted to protect you. Robb would have wanted me to."

"I know." She said quietly. "Thank you, Theon."

They were quiet once more and they took bites of their soup. Sansa felt something inside her gnawing away and she knew she could stay silent on the matter.

"Theon, you don't need to prove yourself to us." She took a deep breath, an attempt to calm herself. "You've already proved we can trust you and that things are different. So please, let someone else take your place in the Godswood."

Sansa felt her chest heavy and her heart race as she pleaded. Theon wouldn't look at her at first, she could see him pressing his lips together struggling to answer her.

"Please Theon…"

"I owe it to your family my lady, Bran was my brother too." She could see his eyes tearing up as he addressed her. "I need to do this, no one will protect Bran better out there besides me and my men."

Tears began to sting her eyes. How could she tell him she didn't want him to die? That yes, at one point she did wish it upon him but now she couldn't handle the thought of never seeing him again. Not after everything that has happened.

"Theon, I don't think I can stand losing you." She finally admitted to him with a strained voice and closed eyes, fighting back her tears. "I can't…"

Within seconds Theon stood, placing his bowl aside and taking hers as well. Sansa felt his arms around her as he brought her into him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and let the tears do what they must.

"You'll never lose me Sansa." He said softly as he held her tightly. Sansa pulled back to look upon his face. His blue-green eyes were gazing into hers as he bent down to kiss her gently on her lips.

When Theon pulled away, she noticed his cheeks were red and he looked embarrassed. His mouth gaped open as he struggled to find words.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done-" Sansa cut him off by standing up and kissing him back. This time, fierce and hungry. She didn't realize how badly she had been wanting to do this. She placed both her hands to his face as he began to relax and wrap his arms around her.

This by far wasn't the first kiss Theon had experienced, but it was the first that he had meant. As he returned the same fierceness Sansa had presented him with, he heard it.

The sound of horns being blown in the night. They were here.

They had had pulled apart just enough to look around but remained holding onto each other. Everyone began to grab their weapons and gear. Theon and Sansa both knew what this meant.

Reluctantly, he let go of her to go grab his weapon but she pulled him back.

"Theon," Her blue eyes were big and full of worry. "I love you."

Nothing had ever warmed his heart more in his life. He brought a hand to her cheek as he kissed her deeply one last time.

"I love you too." He softly spoke as he pulled away from her to go join the Ironborn and Bran in the Godswood. He turned to face her one last time before leaving. Theon, for the first time in a long time, really wanted to live.


End file.
